Hello gentle Americans. Madonna, the material pop twat, has just purchased a 40 million dollar mansion on the Upper East Side with 28 rooms, 13 bedrooms, 12 bathrooms, a wine cellar and a two-car garage. Also included is an evil laboratory where she can perform her own plastic surgical procedures and suck the dewy youth out of neighborhood children she kidnaps. The city is now on code orange as long as this collagen vampire takes up residence in our beloved city.
Did you know 5 times a week, Monday through Friday, The Golden Girls are shown 4 episodes in row on the Hallmark Channel? 4 episodes in a row! I can’t peel myself off the couch until the last episodes credits are rolling. That is if I am awake by the end. I don’t know why I used to take sleeping pills to fall asleep The Golden Girls have the same sedating effect without the nasty hangover. They are my visual Valium and the cast gently rocks me to asleep, cradled gently in their sloppy bosoms.
I got some serious flack over my bad plastic surgery blog. Some irritated readers complained that Madonna should not have been included in the list that she only had some botox shot in her face. Look at this picture and tell me if only botox has been shot in her face.
Looks like she has had Mop And Glow shot in her cheeks. Also people were upset that I did not include Daryl Hannah in the list. So here you go! This pic should scare the shit out of you better than a cup of coffee and a prune Danish.