THE WHITE HOUSE XMAS TREE

Hello gentle Americans. My first holiday show-LETTUCE REJOICE-was a smashing success! Completely sold out. I am almost certain tonight will be more of the same (unless the snowstorm kills it), which will warm my little heart.

I would like to share some wonderful news with you-a month ago I was doing some volunteer work with SAGE, at the Gay Community Center in NYC. SAGE is an organization that helps elder gay people by providing them social activities and a community space to hang out with their peers. It was a festive afternoon, for our task of the day was decorating Christmas ornaments for the Presidential tree in the White House. As it turns out, the White House sends ornaments to various organizations, the job is to make them dazzle in hopes that they will be proudly displayed at the big white mansion in our nations capital. So a few of us gathered around pots of glue, brushes and torn paper to decoupage the afternoon away. After I was done with my ornament I discreetly signed it-xoxo Hedda Lettuce, let it dry, and then placed in a box to be shipped to Washington. I completely forgot about it until yesterday when I received an excited phone call from Bertis, one of the executives at SAGE:

“Hedda I just wanted to tell you I was in Washington and there was your ornament, in full view, with your signature, hanging on the tree in the Blue Room. I have posted some pictures of it on Facebook.”

My heart began to race as I hung up the phone. I was so excited I had to share the news with someone, so I called my mama, Shredda Lynn Lettuce, in Pigeon TIT Tennessee. When I told her the good news I could hear her box of wine drop from her hand, as she cried out, “My daughter’s ball is hanging in the White House, my daughters ball is hanging in the White House!” She had to hang up and call all of her friends and enemies to tell them the good news.

It was there in the silence that it hit me; yes one of my balls is hanging in the White House. When I looked at the photo of the ball, it was not my signature green color, it was many shades of blue. Not only was my ball hanging in the White House, my blue ball is hanging in the White House.

I may never get equal rights, I may never be blond and pencil thin, I may never see Lady Gaga in concert this winter at Madison Square Garden (I could not get a ticket) but one of my balls is hanging in the White House with my name for all to see. Just for today that feels a bit better than me having the right to marry.

Stay fresh,

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