THOUGHTS ON THE OSCARS-

Why is it that one of the richest industries in this country puts an awards show that looks so cheap?  Is it because Jews run it?  Or is it because they did not ask any gay men their opinion on splashing it up?  Or perhaps the gays that were involved also happen to be Jews?  The technical term for a gay Jew is a Gajew.  Sort of sounds like Gnu. Or maybe having a 100 lamp shades behind the hosts, winners and presenters seemed like a good idea on paper, but when seen live it looked like they were on a shoe string budget, a very short show string. Well, at least it was better than last years Oscars.  I loved the chemistry between the hosts-Steven Martin and Alec Baldwin; they genuinely seemed to be having fun.  Opening the show with Neil Patrick Harris (a big queen!) was a grand stroke of genius.  It is great to see a gay man do what they do best-singing bawdy musical numbers.

It was also the year of the big dress.  Almost every dress on stage looked like it could consume the dress that came before it.  So many yards of glittery fabric made me wonder what children’s thumbs were bleeding in some dark warehouse.  Except for Sandra Bullock who was giving you mermaid mixed with a geisha.  What was Meryl Streep doing wearing those hooker heels?  The dress, which looked lovely (even though it had a few visible loose threads) was perfect until you got to her shoes.  Which looked like glam hooker Frankenstein realness.  Honey, you are Meryl Streep, you don’t need to compete with the rest of the girls wearing those expensive stilts.  For god sakes you did not see the attractive Helen Mirren wobble into the theater?

The creepiest woman at the Oscars goes to the bony broad sitting next to James Cameron.  Did they just did her up and put a dress on it?  Or was it an animated character from one of Tim Burton’s movies?

The worst red carpet interviews are a tie-Kathy Ireland and Sherry something from the View.  Kathy looked like she was animatronic or perhaps she crapped herself and Sherry has the personality of a tick.  They way she ended each red carpet dazzler was so rude she might have well have said-”FUCK YOU!,” to each of them as they left.

Worst Oscar speech, hands down, goes to Monique-All attitude without and ounce of humility.  And she looked like she could have been at a Luau with that cheap flower in her hair.  Though she did give a stellar performance in Precious. (AUTHORS NOTE-after watching Monique on Oprah today I take back what I said.  Not knowing the political nonsense that was going on behind the scenes her speech makes perfect sense now.  Though I still hate the flower.)

Best Oscar speech goes to Sandra Bullock.  She appears so down to earth and as real as a Hollywood type can be.  She was warm, humble, gracious and funny.  Any women who could keep commenting on making out with Meryl Streep are #1 in my book.

Glaring absent from this years Oscars-Brad Pitt and Angelina, Jennifer Aniston, Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise.  Perhaps they were all having dinner together or having a key party at the Cruise estate?

Creepiest woman on stage award goes to Molly Ringwald.  Was she having a hard time reading the teleprompter or was she having a nervous breakdown? Or was it a combination of both.  Though deep in my heart she can do no wrong, I love the crazy bitch!

Biggest mistake at the Oscars-not including Farrah Fawcett in the montage of dead actors.  Shame of you!

Stay fresh,
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