I WILL BE GONE TILL SUNDAY-NO NEW BLOG POSTS TILL THAN-IF YOU NEED TO CONTACT ME E-MAIL ME AT heddalettucenyc@aol.com.  HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY HOLIDAY.  AND REMEMBER, DON’T DRINK AND DRAG!

Hello gentle Americans. What amazes me the most about the White House Ball debacle is that the President Of The United States now knows who I am.  How funny it would have been to be a fly on the wall when his advisors had tell him the news: “Excuse me Mr. President.  We seem to have a ball problem.  I meant a Christmas ball problem.  There seems to be some questionable balls hanging on the tree.  One is of General Mao and the other is of a drag queen named Hedda Lettuce.”  “Head of what?” The President most probably said. “No, sir that is Hedda Lettuce.” They surely must of chuckled over this; out of all the problems going on in the world today the right-wing picks up on a Christmas ornament designed by a drag queen.

The second thing that amazes is me is that news outlets from Mumbai to Bangalore, India have written about this, with my name and direct quotes from my blog for all there people to see.  Just for today, I am perhaps the most talked about Queen on the planet?  How does that feel? It feels damn good, but I promise I won’t let this newly found notoriety go to my head of lettuce.

My holiday show, Lettuce Rejoice, was a smashing success, even on Christmas Eve. It is funny, during the show, I ask people when they think of Christmas what do they think about.  The answers range from: Toys, Santa, sleeping in, family and snow.  Funny, no one ever says the baby Jesus.  I asked this question yesterday, on Christmas Eve, the birth of our Lord and savior, and still no one said the baby Jesus.  Though I don’t fault them.  When I think of Christmas I don’t think of Jesus either. The image of him nailed to a cross, with a crown of thorns, lash marks covering his body does not really want to make go out and shop for gifts for my loved ones.  Perhaps if his image was softened up a bit; add a few pounds to him, perhaps a festive robe in bright red, perhaps even a beard and maybe he could be carrying a sack stuffed with frankincense and mur?  Perhaps even a smile on his face, instead of that porn face he is giving in most pictures.  He just needs jollying up, and I swear if he does this I would be happier, I’d stop thinking about the nasty crucifixion and get out there an buy my mother, Shredda Lynn Lettuce, a new pair of Isotoner gloves.

Merry Christmas everyone.  I hope you get what you  been asking for.

Stay fresh,