Hello gentle American’s. Yesterday while I was traipsing through Times Square I was stopped dead in my tracks; there the middle of an embankment appeared to be a large colon, with Times Square legend-The Naked Cowboy singing in front of it.

On closer inspection I was correct. Turns out it is national colon cancer awareness month and the large colon was meant to startle the viewer, allowing the people working for this large colon to hand out important information on colon cancer. Say that 10 times fast.

FEED ME!

While I stood there, with my mouth agape, one of the people working for The Prevent Cancer Foundation said, “Why don’t you walk inside the colon, lots’ of useful information within.” Now it may be some gay man’s dream to be able to walk through a life sized large poop shoot but it was not mine. Though I was curious about something, “Whose colon is it?” I asked the man. He stood there dumbfounded, than meekly responded with my question back at me, “Whose colon is it?” “Yes, you must have modeled it after someone’s colon. Perhaps a famous celebrity? Is it Richard Gere’s colon?” Now wouldn’t that be just a scream if this colon was modeled after Miss. Gere’s? You remember in the 80’ when all those rumors where swirling around that he was gay and liked to have live gerbil’s shoved up his ass? If not, let me remind you. At that moment I fantasized coming dressed as a large gerbil and running in and out of this monstrous colon, but that bubble was soon burst. “No, it is not Richard Gere’s.” He said oh to seriously. “But here is some information on colon cancer that may interest you.” He handed me a pamphlet and I would like to share some of the useful information with all of you.

RICHARD GERE

Now, if you are 50 years old or more here are some of the tests you will need to have done in order to prevent Colorectal Cancer:

Tests that find pre-cancer and cancer
1) Colonoscopy-every 10 years
2) CT colonography (virtual colonoscopy)-every 5 years
3) Flexible Sigmoidoscopy-every 5 years
4) Double-contrast barium enema-every 5 years
Tests that may find cancer
1) Fecal occult blood test-yearly
2) Fecal immunochemical test-yearly
3) Stool DNA-ask your health care professional

So bend over Madonna and get that ratty old hole checked and go to www.preventcancer.org for more information.

Stay fresh,

X
Hedda Lettuce

Hello gentle American’s. Last night I had the pleasure of showing ‘Mahogany’ at the Clearview Cinema in Chelsea. This 1975 treasure stars the supreme star, Diana Ross, using her limited acting talents to create a camp classic that stands the test of time. Not since Mariah Carey in ‘Glitter’ have we seen a star decompose on celluloid so magically, leaving the audience gasping for more. Photo montages, costume changes, hot wax and the extremely handsome Billy Dee Williams makes ‘Mahogany’ a sequined car wreck. The plot is thin: A young girl dreams of becoming one of the worlds greatest fashion designers but what lengths does she have to go to get there?

Speaking of fashion………

After my intro at the Clearview Cinema’s I raced over to the 21st annual Bailey House Auction at the Roseland Ballroom, hosted by Tim Gunn. It was a grand evening with supposed A-listers, where they have a chance to bid on one-of-a-kind items—including contemporary art & photography, vintage furniture, designer jewelry, and high fashion so as to make a difference in the lives of men, women and children living with HIV/AIDS. In actuality it was a room filled with stuffy mid-level model types wanting other mid-level model types to look at them as they sipped on free booze and ate hotdogs. But at least it was for a good cause.

Tim Gunn and me

I had the pleasure of running into Mr. Gunn and I found out he terribly dislikes being called Mr. Gunn. You see, when I meet a celebrity, I never use their first name; I think it’s rude. I always say: “Hello Miss. Ciccone” or “how do you do Miss Knowles.” Well, I did the same thing with Tim. “Hello Mr. Gunn.” At which point he said to me, “Would you please call me Tim, you make me sound like my father.” “I am so sorry Tim,” I earnestly replied. “I did not mean to offend you. I did it as a matter of respect.” Which stopped him dead in his tracks and this little crooked smile broke out upon his face. A smile that said, “Yes you are right. I do deserve respect.” He than said to me, “Why, thank you.” And went off on his way. He never did apologize for calling me mean when I was on Project Runway but I will forgive him for his poor manners.

Jonathan Adler and Simon Doonan

Another highlight from that night was running into Simon Doonan and his partner Jonathan Adler. Now these two are truly A-list fags and for those of you not in the know Simon is a best selling author and his partner, Mr. Adler, is one of the best designers in America. It seems Simon’s mother in-law took a shine to me and wanted a photo with the lady in green. Simon approached me and asked if I would take a photo with his Mother In-Law, which I graciously agreed to. But on one condition-that I could get a photo with the two of them with little ol’ me! Let me tell you it was a love fest that I will never forget.
For more info on the people I spoke of got to:
www.simondoonan.net
www.jonathanadler.com

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Gunn

Stay fresh,

X

Hedda Lettuce