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Hello gentle Americans. I want to talk to you today about your health. Why you may ask? Because I care deeply. I care so much I can’t sleep at night worrying about your health.

There are many vitamin supplements on the market today that promise youth, good health and overall wellbeing in just a simple pill. Sounds like horseshit to me. Just like the face cream market, which plays upon your fears of aging and what come along with it: Wrinkles, saggy tits, gray hair, dull skin and the inability to digest certain vegetables, many vitamin companies play upon those same fears as well. In the sea of lies there are a few vitamins every American should take daily- a Multivitamin, Vitamin D and fish or flax oil for Omega 3 fatty Acids.

If you take nothing else you should take a good multivitamin to round out any nutritional gaps in your diet. And no gentle readers, swallowing does not count as a multivitamin. Granted it may be filled with protein but you would have to swallow gallons of it to do any good. And only a professional whore, say like Tara Reid, could accomplish such a feat.

Vitamin D is extremely important for bone growth and can prevent brittle bones in older people and soft bones in children. It is also rumored to be helpful in treating in treating or preventing autism, autoimmune disease, cancer, chronic pain, depression, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, flu, neuromuscular diseases, and osteoporosis. Vitamin D is so important that your body makes it by itself — but only after skin exposure to sufficient sunlight. This is a problem for people in northern climates. In the U.S., only people who live south of a line drawn from Los Angeles to Columbia, S.C., get enough sunlight for vitamin D production throughout the year. That is why it comes in pills for us folk who live in more moody and cold climates.

Fish oil may not sound to tasty but it is filled with Omega 3 fatty acids. Fish oil helps balance your cholesterol, protect your cardiovascular health and improve your mood. Now don’t scowl girls you are used to swallowing things of a questionable nature (see above paragraph for details on this. Right Tara?).

Now most people, including myself, do not consult a doctor before they take supplements. And since most of the country is uninsured the probability of this is slim. But if you do have an emergency situation that requires medical attention, when they ask if you are on any medications, write down your supplements as well. You never know what drugs could interact with the vitamins and make for a very bad time.

In closing vitamins are used to round out a healthy diet. A supplement regiment can help your health but it can’t save you from a diet of junk food. Do your part people and the vitamins will do theirs!

(Additional information on this piece was provided by-Mustafa Hashimi of the Vitamin Shop.)

Stay fresh,
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Hello gentle Americans. If you think your sunscreen is safe for the environment think again. Four commonly found sunscreen ingredients can awaken dormant viruses in the symbiotic algae called zooxanthellae that live inside reef-building coral species. What the heck that means I have no clue, but this much I know it ain’t good folks. The chemicals cause the viruses to replicate until their algae hosts explode, spilling viruses into the surrounding seawater, where they can infect neighboring coral communities, bleaching out the coral reefs and sucking the life out of them. I have sucked the life out of a few gentleman callers in my day but to think that my sunscreen is sucking the life out of a few gentleman corals is greatly disturbing!

What are some these chemicals? PABA, octinoxate, oxybenzone, 4-methylbenzylidene camphor and the preservative butylparaben to name a few. Researchers estimate that 4,000 to 6,000 metric tons of sunscreen wash off swimmers annually in oceans worldwide, basically causing a human oil spill that devastates wildlife on the bottom of the ocean. Seems hopeless? Not at all! You can start buying sun protection that does not contain these harmful ingredients. Here is a list of sunscreens that you can order on-line or pick up at your local drugstore:

www.mexitan.com

UV Natural Sunscreen SPF30+ 5.29 oz

Soleo Sunscreen

Kiss my face

If your local drugstore does not have these products tell them to order them, so consumers have a choice and are allowed to make an educated decision. Remember it only takes one person to start making a change in their community, be that person!

Stay fresh,

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